There can be many regrets tied to an abortion.
We often hear the regrets of the woman who walked into the facility or who swallowed the abortion pills. Other times we may hear how a father who lost his fatherhood to abortion has regret. A grandparent or sibling may regret the loss from an abortion. And there are countless regrets from abortion that go undocumented because those experiencing regret remain silent.
Nearly 40 years after Jeff Joaquin forced his girlfriend to abort their child, he is silent no longer.
Joaquin is the central figure in the documentary, “How to Save a Life,” featuring an interview as he tells his story.
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Joaquin had a desire to play pro-football and was the star of his high school team. At age 17 in 1987 his girlfriend gave him news that could change those plans.
The unplanned pregnancy angered Joaquin. He chose to drive the girl 40 miles from home to an abortion center where no one would know him. He borrowed $200 for the procedure, pulled up to the facility, and asked the girl to go inside. He told her he would not be going inside with her.
“I was basically a hit man,” he said in the interview.
His Catholic beliefs were thrown out the window as he admitted, “the Holy Trinity to me was me, myself and I.”
Joaquin said he broke up with his girlfriend the day after her abortion.
Two decades later, that event was flashed before him as he sat in church with his wife and daughter. It was a special speaker who was encouraging the men of the Church to be “authentic” in their faith and to their family. Joaquin felt a tug to join a program to grow this authenticity. Months of Confessions finally led him to face the old memory of the abortion from 1987.
Joaquin felt a tremendous need to find his old girlfriend and apologize. This was the beginning of a quest to talk openly about the sin of abortion and how men need to stand up against the murder of their unborn children.
The documentary showed the impact of Joaquin’s public testimony for one young man in Tampa, Florida.
The college student, Nick, heard Joaquin’s story “by chance,” and left the message tucked away in his mind. It was soon afterward that Nick’s girlfriend Phoebe revealed her unplanned pregnancy. Joaquin’s story echoed in his ears. As they faced the decision of their future, Nick knew he needed to support his girlfriend by choosing life.
Joaquin’s story told through this documentary aims to touch the lives of many more young men.
It poses the question, “what if?”
What if more men stopped to think when they get that text or hear those words, “I am pregnant"?
What if men stopped forcing abortions as well as stopped playing the “It’s your choice” card?
What if men came with their girlfriend to a pregnancy center and sat with her as she learned about her options? What if he held her hand through the ultrasound as the heartbeat of their child flickered on the screen?
The good news is that these scenarios do happen in pregnancy help centers. However, it is not happening often enough.
Our centers offer post-abortion counseling. What if more dads made the brave call to discuss this difficult point in their lives and seek healing?
I am certain this also happens in some centers, but the incidents are very, very few.
What if we as pregnancy help centers emphasized EVEN MORE the need to have men seek out post abortive healing? What if the men in our churches came alongside these men with dark shame-filled secrets like Joaquin’s story?
Men need to hear from other men who understand. Joaquin’s brutal honesty has the potential to save lives. Even though his own child has perished, he is boldly encouraging other young men not to make the same mistake.
Tweet This: Men experiencing abortion regret need to hear from other men who understand abortion regret.
Joaquin said it best in the film:
“Men need to get off their butts and get into the game.”
The documentary explains Joaquin’s childhood and the emphasis on faith and sports. He reads aloud a letter to whom he believes to be his unborn son, lamenting his decision and begging for forgiveness.
His message has the prospect of bringing grown men to tears.
Nick and his girlfriend Phoebe welcomed a baby girl in August. Think of how many more babies could be born if more “Nicks” heard Joaquin’s story? What if Nick continues to share his own story? How many babies will be saved? How wonderful to have a chain reaction for life.
Let’s encourage this mission. Let’s encourage men to be brave so they know “How to Save a Life.”
The full documentary is available HERE.
